For those who love the smell of DDT in the morning!
Remember the good ol' days when bug sprays really worked, and man was in total control of his garden? Sadly, those days are gone due to the constant whining of the commie green movement and the actions of lily-livered politicians, who'd stab their own mothers in the back just to win votes.
But thanks to some creative legal interpretation, an offshore location, and the convenience of the Internet, Crazy Frank is able to turn back time and offer all your old favorites at ridiculous* prices. Regain the upper hand with pests and weeds as you hit em' hard with a shock and awe display of DDT, Agent Orange, 2,4,5-T, and our latest winner, Agent Burnt Orange.
Check out some before & after shots of what we can do for you!
You're probably thinking: "Weren't these things banned because they cause cancer?" Our answer to that is: "What doesn't caused cancer these days?" Apparently it's not even safe to go out in the sun anymore; and forget about using that mobile phone. If you're going to get "the big C" anyway, why not take out truckloads of insects and weeds along the way?
So, if you're sick and tired of using those namby-pamby legal chemicals that hardly seem to knock a moth off a mothball, contact us now and we'll send you our latest price list. And together, we can get back to restoring the imbalance.
* Definition of "ridiculous" depends on whether you're a buyer or a seller.
